Dear Simon Baker,
Will you marry me? Sure, okay, you’re already married. I get it. You just happen to be incredibly handsome and one of the only decent men in Hollywood. One who has blue collar roots, an accent, and a knack for playing a genius on TV flawlessly. Who gives his children adorable names like “Harry Friday”. Who, if he is going to be in cheesy romantic comedies, at least picks ones that mean something like Something New.
Okay, so it appears that you are completely out of my league (but not just mine–pretty much every woman ever)…but tell me this: What is your one fatal flaw? There has to be something. And yet, you’re a celebrity and this is the internet and I can’t find a single harsh word about you. So, it’s been awhile since I’ve watched The Mentalist, is Patrick Jane still single? Because a girl can dream, can’t she? Could I at least just run my fingers through your hair, just once? I promise, no restraining order is necessary.
Photos: Fame Pictures