Dear Simon Baker,

Will you marry me?  Sure, okay, you’re already married.  I get it.  You just happen to be incredibly handsome and one of the only decent men in Hollywood.  One who has blue collar roots, an accent, and a knack for playing a genius on TV flawlessly.  Who gives his children adorable names like “Harry Friday”.  Who, if he is going to be in cheesy romantic comedies, at least picks ones that mean something like Something New.

Okay, so it appears that you are completely out of my league (but not just mine–pretty much every woman ever)…but tell me this:  What is your one fatal flaw?  There has to be something.  And yet, you’re a celebrity and this is the internet and I can’t find a single harsh word about you.  So, it’s been awhile since I’ve watched The Mentalist, is Patrick Jane still single?  Because a girl can dream, can’t she?  Could I at least just run my fingers through your hair, just once?  I promise, no restraining order is necessary.



At the 50th Annual Monte Carlo TV Festival in Monaco on June 9, 2010. More photos below. JUMP!

Photos: Fame Pictures

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4 Responses to Dear Simon Baker, Will You Marry Me?

  1. Robyn Morin says:

    This is great, lol!

    Good luck!!!


  2. Cait Hagar says:

    GET OUT! Seriously, get out. I know he’s uber old, but he’s good to look at. <- See what I did there?

    I <3 that show, and him. My Mum likes him too, which makes this all very weird.

    Cait Hagar

    • Jebbica says:

      Uber-old, lol. He’s like 40! That’s just the right age for crush-worthy guys. By that age, they hopefully have their ish together and their partying days are over! If only guys could stay that age forever, lol. :p And no, I refuse to admit that I’m old.

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